Picture Picture!

What happens when I see my shadow?


Usually it means that there will be 6 additional bushels of wheat. That's PER villager. In the event that I DON'T see my shadow, there will be 6 additional children sacrificed to the dragon.


Speaking of alarming things.


Last night, after we went to bed, something went bump. Luckily we were still awake enough that I told Mike to go figure out what it was. He told me to go figure out what it was, but I explained that I was too scared, and then he laughed at me and went to investigate. It sounded like a picture frame falling over, but they were all still in their respective places? And then I suggested something might have fallen in the shower, but everything was kosher in there too? Eventually I started falling asleep before Mike came back to bed, but don't worry, I was still slightly awake so it's not like I was completely abandoning my husband to some unknown fate of the night.
The jury is still out on what caused the sound...

One time, when I was but a wee little lass, I was scared of ghosts coming into my room after I went to sleep. My biggest brother, Jeff, came in to console me. Here's the thing about Jeff, he was something of a bodyguard to me. You see, Darius was something of a mean bigger brother to me, and we quarreled frequently. And frequently he, being bigger and meaner than myself, would get the best of me. This is when Jeff would intervene and put Darius in his place.
ANYWAYS, Jeff comes in and asks me why I'm scared. I explain about the ghosts and he understands completely. He proceeded to tell me that if any ghosts DID happen to swing by, then Mr. Rogers, while in the process of switching shoes, would throw a shoe at the ghosts head, and then Teddy Ruxpin would bite its toes. (Remember Teddy Ruxpin? The creepy, talking, blinking bear that had a cassette player embedded in its back? I definitely had one and I definitely threw up on him one time when a babysitter was taking care of us. The same babysitter who freaked out, on a different occasion, and called her mom to come help when I got Tart 'N' Tinys stuck up my nose. Look, I don't want to go into how or why they got up there. By the time her mom came over I was crying so hard I had red and blue snot running out of my nose. It's a wonder my parents were able to get her to babysit us again...) For some reason, the thought of Mr. Rogers and Teddy Ruxpin ganging up on otherworldly creatures, was a great comfort unto me and I was able to sleep.


I would now like to provide you with your very own dream catcher craft project.


Instructions:
Simply print pictures, cut them out, and tape them to your bedroom window. All of your bad dreams will be beat into submission and chewed on.






Why do Tart 'N' Tinys have a Wikipedia page anyways?


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Mike: Sandi. It's your turn. To pray. For the family. (repeat this 3 or 4 times, annoyingly)
Me: OKAY OKAY!! (I sound impatient because I was brushing my teeth)
Mike: Sandi. (pause) It's your turn.
Me: For what again?
Mike: To pray for the family.
Me: What, are we the mafia now?
Mike: Don't forget to pray that Esteban doesn't get shot this week. (I don't know why he thought that was a mafia type name)
Me: (prays)
Mike: You forgot to pray for Esteban...