I have a billion things running through my head today and I could blog about all of them.
But there is such a jumble. And I keep coming back around to what I fell asleep thinking about and what I woke up thinking about.
Mike's cousin is in Afghanistan right now and we found out yesterday his humvee got hit a few days ago. He survived (although we don't know what condition he's in, I'm praying constantly that it's a good one), but the guy sitting next to him didn't. It had Mike pretty shook up last night.
For some bizarre reason this hasn't phased me concerning Mike's upcoming deployment. (Maybe I'm crazy or maybe I've just accepted the fact that Mike is going in the direction the Lord wants him to go, so having faith in the plan is my only option.)
Let's talk about cowards.
I was in the fifth grade when I had my first crush. I can remember his first name but not his last. I can also remember that as we went through the rest of school, he became an ugly jock. I'm just being honest here.
I had numerous other crushes throughout school, but I never EVER told anyone about them. I was so terrified of what would happen if the person I liked actually found out that I liked them. And I was terrified of what other people would think of me liking whoever I liked (I like to think I've come along way, since then, in terms of caring about what other people think of me...)
So I was a coward about boys.
I'm also a coward about high things. Roller coasters, those I love (although since my neck has decided to crap out on me, those are a thing of the past...). Flying in airplanes, it's awesome and convenient.
Standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon...nope. No thank you. Looking down from a window in a tall building makes my legs go all jelly-like.
Oh gosh, one time I was at my friend Donny's house, with Darius and Chelsea Rose. We were spending a leisurely afternoon hanging out and swimming, when Darius (or Donny) (or BOTH...) got the splendid idea of going upstairs to Donny's sister's room, climbing through the window, and jumping off of the roof into the pool. Somehow Chelsea and I also thought this was a good idea, so we went for it. Donny and Darius jumped off immediately. Chelsea and I took about 20 minutes. 20 minutes of walking to the edge and walking back to the window (which Donny had made sure to close in such a way that the only way off the roof was by air) and back and forth. I think Darius and Donny were about ready to just go inside and leave us up there when Chelsea finally went for it. Unfortunately for her, a wasp decided to sting her just as she hit the edge of the roof, and she did this weird hop thing right before her big jump, which meant less power went into her big jump, and at that moment my stomach went into my feet because I was pretty sure my best friend was about to break something on the sidewalk (I can still see it happening in my mind and it still makes me shudder). She made it into the pool though, just barely (and then had meat tenderizer applied to the sting, because that's what you do in a pinch), and so I took off and jumped after her. It was fun, after the fact, but something I won't be repeating ever.
Again, coward about high things over here.
And then I'm a coward about discussing politics. Don't get me wrong, I have opinions. Strong ones. Ones that you definitely agree with and ones that I know you definitely don't agree with. Like this upcoming presidential election. But I'm not going there. I value my friendships enough that I don't want to think ill of my friends because they tried to tell me I was wrong :)
I'm a coward about politics because while I know some things, I don't know all things (like anyone does?) and I clam up so as not to look stupid or be called stupid in a round about way. It is for these reasons that I only discuss politics with Aleece. Because we disagree on a lot of things (not just politics; things like Sybill's choice of husband on "Downton Abbey"...coward commie...) but we agree on a lot of things too and whether it's one or the other, it's a great, friendly discussion where neither of us leaves feeling like killing the other.
I'm digressing here.
So Mike was shook up last night. I assumed it was mostly concern for his cousin and partly concern for the fact that he is about to go into a combat zone as well (and he IS concerned for his cousin, we're anxious to get more info on how he's doing). But he told me that what was really bothering him was that two good men died in that humvee because a group of people aren't man enough to fight face to face. They hide their attacks, in the form of IEDs, so that the enemy (that's us) gets hurt, but they are as far away as possible. They escape any chance of pain.
I would jump off of a roof, discussing politics with every boy I ever had a crush on, if it meant serving my country or my family. I would get over all of my fears if it would serve what I believe to be a worthy cause.
What they do over there, though, that's just cowardly.
(p.s. On a completely different note! Christmas is 8 months from today. Let's give thanks we live in a country with ridiculous amounts of Christmas trees and candy.)