Blog readers, can we be serious for a minute? There is an issue in this country that is very close to my heart. It is an issue concerning the women of America. It might surprise some of you to know that there is something, vital to life, that the majority of women in America do not even HAVE in their lives. Shockingly, it's probably 99.9% of them that don't have it. What I speak of is, of course, cookie pants. What makes this situation even worse is that most of you reading this probably aren't even aware of what they are, that you're missing them, and that you need them.
This is what you need to know about cookie pants:
1.) They can be any pair of pants you want them to be, as long as they are stretchy and comfortable.
2.) They must allow room so that if you bake a batch of cookies, and then eat the entire batch of cookies, your pants do not restrict your waist.
3.) They can be worn at times besides when baking cookies.
4.) If being worn at times besides when baking cookies, make sure that you still refer to them as cookie pants. (i.e. your husband says 'let's go get a movie from Red Box' and you say 'okay let me just throw on my cookie pants' stuff like that. you know?)
This is what my personal pair of cookie pants look like.
It's not my first pair and it won't be my last. To be honest with you, I'm in the market for a second pair. Sometimes these need a break, and I'm a team player so we need a back up for the starting pair.
Now, men and women of America, you are aware of cookie pants. You are responsible for getting a pair in your life or making sure a woman you know has a pair. I know, this is a heavy responsiblity to carry on your shoulders. Just do it. It is the best choice you will ever make in your life. Show someone that you love them, get them a pair. Or say 'Hey, you should get some cookie pants. Don't know what they are? Read this blog post. This very wise woman will explain everything.' (I'm referring to this blog post, of course) Also, men can wear them too.
Also, happy birthday to the best big sister in all existence! Wait, that means I'm out of the running then... happy birthday to MY best big sister in all existence!
Mike: So I've been looking into gyms.
Me: Jim's? I thought you hated that place.
Mike: (blank stare at me for a few seconds) What?
Me: Yeah. I asked you about it one time and you said it's disgusting.
Mike: What are you talking about?
Me: What are YOU talking about?? You know! That breakfast place that we pass when we go to the temple! Jim's!
Mike: No Sandi, like a gime (that's how he pronounces gym when he's explaining these things to me..)
Me: Ooooooh. That makes more sense than what I was thinking.