Every Good Thing (And A Couple Of Bad Ones)

Last night, I was supposed to go to a bridal shower. But then I realized how nuts the day was and also that my husband had been doing his Army stuff since Thursday and I thought 'This calls for an emergency date night.' So the husband took me out to dinner. I don't know what it is about Mike and me, but we seem to attract horrible waiters. ALWAYS. I think that all restaurants have passed around a picture of Mike and me so they know what we look like. And when they see us coming, they say 'Here's the Roughtons! Go pull Dave out of that mud pit, give him some Alka-Seltzer for his hangover, and have him wait on them!'
I'm almost POSITIVE that's what happens every time. Anyways, we had a horrible waitress last night. We saw her....twice? the whole time we were there. It put me in an irritated mood. It also made me want to share with you some of the things that irk me.

So, without further adeu,

I now choose to recite a list.

Things I Do Not Like:

1. Use of the term "awesome sauce."

2. Keisha (I'm not spelling her name with currency because I don't spell mine $andi), Lady Gaga, Katie Perry, Fergie, etc. Basically any pop diva that I find offensive, as a woman.

3. Cyclists who aren't kind to drivers. (Someone please tell me if I'm out of line here. There is a road that I drive down frequently that is only 2 lanes wide. It's currently under construction so said lanes are even smaller than normal. AND YET! Cyclists insist on biking down it on busy Saturdays!!! Causing us drivers to go 20 miles an hour in a 45 mph zone. Am I out of line in being irritated at them!?? Probably not! Aleece has my back on this one.)

4. The heat and lack of hydration from above.

5. Shortening the term 'romantic comedy' to 'rom com.'

6. Cocky people, but specifically the kind of people that when you're trying to tell them a story, you can tell by the look on their face that they're not listening to you because they're searching their own brain for a story to top yours.

7. (I have mentioned these before on facebook, so sorry if you've already seen it, but I've added a couple) Any short, 'cutening' of words, such as: hubby and bestie; also preggers or preggo (if anyone refers to me as such whenever I'm pregnant, you will not be invited to meet my child); and also referring to a group of people as 'my loves.' All of these words/terms make me want to vomit.

8. Watching Celtic Woman. I LOOOOOVE listening to Celtic Woman. They sound amazing! They just have a very...cheesy, over-staged way of singing.

And now to the restaurants
9. Olive Garden and Buffalo Wild Wings. I have been to multiple locations of the Olive Garden, and at every single one, I have had awful service. Twice I've also been snubbed by a management type person. I have concluded that Olive Garden doesn't care if I enjoy my experience there, so I won't be going back. Also, Buffalo Wild Wings. Twice I have been there and twice I have had to celebrate countless birthdays, anniversaries, Thanksgiving, and who knows what else because it took that long to get service. The last time we went, the manager decided that the 6 o'clock dinner rush was the perfect time to call all of his employees into the back for a meeting.
Neither of these are the one that we went to last night. I'm going to give that place one more shot before it makes my black list of restaurants.

Now, I believe that there is opposition in all things.

I choose to recite another list.

Things I Do Like:

1. Tacos (you should get one from Taco Bell, leave it in the fridge overnight, and eat it for breakfast. Sounds gross but don't knock it 'till you try it!)

2. The fact that I just successfully made a batch of my mom's caramel. Really I did. About 20 minutes ago.

3. The Olympics (so help me, I can't enough of those every 2 years)

4. The hard floor surface area in my apartment is small enough that I can mop it all with one Swiffer cloth.

5. When Mike acts like a dork to make me laugh.

6. Christmas. I can't say enough how much I love Christmas... It might drive my husband slightly bonkers.

7. Being in a kitchen making stuff

8. The following movies: Pride and Prejudice (Keira Knightley version! That's Right! I'm not ashamed! I think what's his name is way hotter than Colin Firth! Although, I really don't know his name...), The Young Victoria, The Family Stone, Mamma Mia, and Clue. Also there's more, but they're not coming to mind right now.

9. Rain. But I don't remember what that stuff looks, sounds, or feels like anymore.

10. Using terms like 'water closet' or 'logistical nightmare.' But I think you all already knew that about me.

11. When Pete walks by to lick my calf, just to remind me that he's still there and that he loves me. (I love him too.)

12. Donuts. If we could have one thing that we could eat and have it not affect our bodies in any way, mine would be donuts.

Check that out. My 'like' list is longer that my 'not like' list. And the 'not like' list took me awhile to compose. I thought of all the 'like' much quicker.
All is right and good in the world again. What bad waitress?

And now an answer to the age old question, how many bars of soap does a giant man need?

The answer would be, 5.