Thoughts From The Water Closet: Middle Of The Night Edition

So last night I get up to use the water closet (I really need to stop drinking water after 8 pm), and in my half asleep, half awake stupor, I realized just how freaking cold the toilet seat was. Is that not one of the worst parts of winter? Cold toilet seats?

And then I started thinking about how I can totally relate to those people who pay to have heated toilet seats. I would do it, I told myself. But then I thought "What happens if it over heats and starts on fire?" And then I had a mental picture of a toilet with the seat on fire. And then, in my deep and intellectually sleepy stupor, I thought "What if somebody fell in while using a toilet seat that is on fire? This would bring new meaning to the lyrics 'I fell in to a burning ring of fire.'"

And then I laughed hysterically to myself and went back to sleep.