Don't Flush The Book

Have you heard of the author Brandon Mull? He wrote the Fablehaven series. I've probably recommended those books more than any other, and I think everyone I recommend them to ends up loving the series. If you like Harry Potter, then you need Fablehaven in your life. He also has a trilogy he's working on right now, The Beyonders, and it's good too.

Anyways, I'm pretty sure my Brandon Mull books are cursed.

So, a couple of years ago, I was talking about Fablehaven with someone and they were interested, so I lent (is that right? lent?) them my copy of the first book (there are five in the series). A week later, when I asked how the book was going, she became fidgety and uncomfortable looking.
I said "What's wrong???"
Let me preface her response by telling you that there is a hole in the wall in her bathroom, close to the floor, next to the toilet. I think they were renovating at the time? This is the wall that's shared by the bathroom and the bedroom. This is crucial information, trust me (and at this point, if she's reading, she knows who she is and I might've just described the situation completely wrong, but I do remember a hole in the wall by the toilet was involved. And the bottom line is, I will take her name to the grave so as not to cause any disgrace to her family's name...).
She proceeded to tell me that my book had been sitting on her bathroom counter. While her husband was taking care of toilet type business, she decided to play a trick on him and grab his foot through the hole in the wall. He, rightly so, freaked out, and decided my book was the best thing to smack whatever was getting him. Except he hit the wall instead, and there went my book's spine.

So she bought me a new copy.

THEN, someone (cough, my mother-in-law, cough) was reading my copy of the first book in The Beyonders' trilogy. She left it on her bed.
That's not really a big deal, except Ondine (a sweet, rambunctious, cartoon of a dog), chews anything left on her bed.
My book got eaten.

So she bought me a new copy.

Very recently, one of my Beehives at church has been borrowing my Fablehaven books.
She's on the last one guys! Number five! She's working hard!
I gave it to her last Sunday, and fully expected her to have it finished and returned by yesterday (she has just been storming through the books, she loves them so much). I walked out into the hall after sacrament meeting and I saw her. I rushed over to her, excited to discuss the end of the series (and to pass on "Mockingjay" to another Beehive who was with her) when she starts to look at me in the fidgety, uncomfortable way that my friend did a couple of years ago when my other Fablehaven book died.
This is the first thing she said to me:
"So, here's the thing, it's kind of a funny story, about what happened to your book..."
She proceeds to tell me that she set it on the bathroom counter (in the future, no one is allowed to take my books into bathrooms) and was doing something when she knocked it down. Into the toilet. I was already laughing when she proceeded to tell me that her little sister had forgotten to flush the toilet so I was laughing even harder. After telling me all of that she said "I didn't even get to finish it yet!"

So she's going to buy me a new copy.

I know I should probably be more careful about lending out my books, but I love seeing kids and teenagers reading. Especially when I can talk about the books with them! Don't worry, I told my Beehive to finish reading the book before passing on the new copy. As for the old copy, it's up to her to decide whatever she wants do to with that one...
Maybe I should start taking collateral from people when lending out books?

You know, there was an English teacher in my junior high who thought that books had souls (I mean they do, but she REALLY thought they had souls...) and would give detention to anyone who dropped one. I think she'd probably frown on this whole situation.


I just hope "Mockingjay" survives. Although, it's not written by Brandon Mull, so there is hope for it yet.