Everyone in it, including myself, is a complete moron.
This conclusion is true (pray about, trust me) for 2 reasons:
1.) WE'RE IN WAL-MART.
2.) I have developed a scientific theory which proved itself correct on my outing to the establishment this very afternoon.
What is the most annoying thing about Wal-Mart? I mean besides how you can never find an employee when you need help. Or how the checkout lines are longer than waiting for Christmas and they are never staffed enough at the busiest times of day.
Aside from all of THOSE things, the thing that is most annoying is that as soon as people set foot in the store and start pushing a cart (or just walking around, they don't need a wheeled contraption necessarily) they suddenly lose any ability to move about coherently. Do you know what I'm talkin' 'bout?
Every corner you turn, there are 5 people all trying to move in 20 different directions but no one will make eye contact with each other and so it just gets worse. Right?
It's not their fault. It's Wal-Mart's fault.
Many, many moons ago, when Wal-Mart was spawned, it's very first customer walked in. Wal-Mart said to that customer "Please do us a favor, and be as annoying as possible while moving about the store." So the very first customer did just that, which in turn annoyed someone who had to move out of their way and into another person's way which annoyed them and they had to move out of the second person's way and into another person's way, and with Wal-Mart being open 24/7, it's continued ever since.
A twisted, vicious cycle that is never ending. Kind of like...the "Land Before Time" movies.
In conclusion, for my conclusion, Wal-Mart will be featured as one of the anti-Christs during Armageddon.
Thank you for your time.
Also, I used to laugh at the people of Wal-Mart website, but then my mom pointed out that some of those people may not be able to afford anything better than what they're wearing (although you KNOW some of them have just spent too much time in Wal-Mart and it has turned their judgement dial permanently to "Huh?") and so I don't laugh at it anymore.
Instead I laugh at these people, because they submit their own pictures to be laughed at by all.
I can't help but think that none of this theory would have come into being if the HEB had just had a red velvet cake mix when I went grocery shopping yesterday.
The HEB will never be evil. The HEB brings peace on earth and goodwill to all men.
