Don't you hate reflecting on those painful moments of life when you wish you could go back and change the ways things went?
You wouldn't have said those words, you wouldn't have worn those shoes, you wouldn't have passed on your friend's idea to start a new burger joint that would later become Burger King (True story, I know a guy who did that. Passed on it, I mean).
This one time, my first day EVER as a BC at EFY (which basically means, I worked at a church camp and wasn't the bottom of the counselor food chain anymore), I wore these brand new, black sandals which were just CUTE! The thing about working EFY is, if done properly, you can lose 5 to 10 pounds in one week. Because you walk. And walk. And walk. And walk. Kind of like the pioneers. Except it's all over a college campus, not the middle of America. And you have no time to sleep or eat. But somehow you survive. Anyways, by about 10 o'clock in the morning, on that first exciting day, I was really regretting the wearing of a brand new pair of sandals. The health counselors and I quickly got to know each other, as I had to ask them repeatedly for band aids for my blisters.
Oh the pain of my feet!
Another thing, I have this habit of telling people they've ruined Christmas when they messed up something. It's kind of a way to break any tension and kind of a way for me to be annoying.
This one time, oh man, I really almost ruined someone's Christmas.
So, I worked at the children's doctor place, right? (Holla at the Treehouse ladies!) And it's the last day of school before Christmas vacation. The phone lines are just blowing up with people trying to get their kids in asap, before they all leave on trips. This one dad calls, oh he was super nice, and explains that his boys have the sniffles and a sore throat. He normally wouldn't bring them in for something so minor, but they're about to leave to spend Christmas at Disneyworld. "Oh BRING THEM IN!" I'm sure I said very exuberantly. How exciting is Christmas at Disneyworld?! (As a side note, I'd never go to Disneyworld for Christmas unless someone else was paying for it. I hear that is the worst time to go, and I just don't want to spend my money on crowds. I digress...)
My morning was going along nicely, I was probably singing endless amounts of Christmas carols and annoying the living daylights out of JR and Maryanne (those were the 2 women who had to put up with me, on a daily basis, in very close proximity), and this dad comes to check out with his two boys. I recognize the name, from scheduling them earlier, and I say
"Oh I'm so glad we got you in since you're going to Disneyworld!"
The younger boy was digging through the sticker box and didn't notice what I said, the older boy, however, got a funny, confused look on his face.
The dad, very quickly, proceeded to say
"No, no ma'am, that wasn't us. We're not going anywhere for Christmas."
At which point, a very bright flashing light clicked on in my head, and I stammered out something like
"Oh yeah, that must've been someone else I was talking to..."
They left and I said
"JR! MARYANNE! DID YOU HEAR WHAT I JUST DID?!!?!?"
I felt TERRIBLE!!! I literally almost ruined those parents' Christmas surprise! Their kids had no idea they were going to Disneyworld! I think after the dad and I brushed it off, it was okay, but still. I've stuck my foot in my mouth PLENTY of times, but that was one of the worst. I couldn't help but think that when they were leaving for Florida, the kid said "Oh so that's what that lady was talking about at the doctor!" and the dad probably said "Yeah, she's an idiot."
Oh the pain of my mouth!!
Recently, a friend told me about a time she saw a co-worker and his wife, at the store, and asked when the wife was expecting. She wasn't.
My friend learned her lesson.
Oh the pain of embarassment!!!
People, never ever ever ever EVER assume that a woman is expecting. Just ask Brian Regan.
And now, my regret today is this:
What possessed Corine and I, 27 days ago, to apply all of the Thanksgiving decorations at work, with two-sided tape?? I'm sure it was just the most efficient way of doing things, back on November 1st.
I can't even begin to tell you how fun it has been trying to peel a flat, sticky substance from a flat, shiny surface. My nail polish has gone completely to pot, and my cuticles, which have been especially dry lately, are taking a beating.
Dash it all, I'm just done with this tape!
Oh the pain of rushing to decorate, and then not thinking about the consequences until it's time to undecorate!!!!