Anyways, back to my epiphany from about a month ago.
I realized I am never going to look like this:
Here are some reasons WHY I will never look like that:
(oh how Mike and I love to be home watching TV together)
Just to name a few.
This was not the first time I have made this realization in my life. Before, when I have realized this, it has been followed with thoughts like 'I give up I'm never going to be attractive or skinny or blah blah blah blah blah.' Lame and boring and an over-used whine session, right?
What made this realization a full blown epiphany is that right after, it was followed with the thought 'It's okay that I'm not going to ever look like that. I enjoy my life, I especially enjoy food to a reasonable extent (most of the time...), and I enjoy exercising and being active even though I don't do it religiously. So Self, I think it's about time we stop criticizing each other about these things and REALLY enjoy them like we say we do!'
It was one of the best epiphanies I've ever had in my life. It's like I was finally giving myself permission to eat the things I love and not feel guilty about it or feel bad about going a day or two without doing much more than having a Simpsons marathon on the couch. (Quality time with the husband is important in life!)
Now, dear blog readers, I'm not using this as an excuse to just go and pig out. (Hello, do you know how hard it is to lose 40 pounds over time and keep it off? I'm positive some of you do.) But, I have GOT to stop beating myself up when I eat good things! (Good as in good for you, and also maybe not good for you, but hey, my tastebuds like it so why not eat it in moderation?)
Okay people, now YOU are not allowed to use this as an excuse to go and pig out. If I go to some restaurant on unlimited pancakes and breadsticks night (this restaurant in my mind must be some kind of merge between IHOP and Olive Garden) and you are eating all of the pancakes and breadsticks you want and someone asks you why and you say 'because Sandi said it's okay' I might give you a swift kick to the shin. After eating one of your breadsticks because MAN I love me some carbs.
I was having a good conversation about these types of things with my dear Elisabeth the other day. (I call her my dear Elisabeth because really everyone should have an Elisabeth who uses an S instead of a Z in their name and is also amazing) Anyways, we are kind of on the same wave length with a lot of things in life (she's on a more sane/calm one than I am) and we were talking about how we both think we just want to be more healthy and in better shape, for Heaven's sake! Can't I just get into better shape?? (Yes, I suppose I could and should)
I don't have to be "good" enough to be a Victoria's Secret model or even be mistaken for one at the beach (if I had a nickel for every time... I would have 3 cents) I just need to be healthier, and more importantly I need to be more comfortable and happy with who I am and how I look. Luckily, I am looking in that direction for the first time in a LONG time. (When I say LONG time, I really mean 'ever.')
Also, I have something in my life that is already thrilled with the way I am and doesn't think I need to change anything. And that helps more than a jar, full of epiphanies, with a bow wrapped around it.
I'm still not sure why I blogged about this today. I just felt compelled. Have you had any great epiphanies/awakenings/realizations in your life as of late? I would love for you to share them :)