We get lots of fun things turned in as lost paraphernalia at work (There's all kinds of magical things that people lose at a swim school! The best was the pair of panties, which must have belonged to a 3 year old, that hung in the bathroom/water closet on a hook for a good month. One day, they suddenly disappeared....) Today, someone turned in one of those 20 Question games. You know what I'm talkin' bout Willis? One of these:
I was pretty excited when I saw it because I'm kind of awesome at beating it. I tell you what though, that thing likes to talk some smack. It thinks it's too cool for school, but I've got a newsflash for you Walter Kronkite, it isn't. Anyways, I like to think of way obscure things that it will NEVER guess, just so I can put it in its place (Yes, we're still talking about an inanimate object here, and I'm fully aware.)
I'm going to let y'all in on a little secret. I've got a couple of words/things, that I keep locked away in a safe place in my brain, which always beat it. I use them only in very special circumstances when I really feel like impressing people more than I already do. What I'm going to do now is tell you what those two things are. Are you ready?
- Wicked Witch of the West
Despite the fact that this 20 Questions game advertises that it knows everything, it does not know those two.
Today things took a turn for the ugly. My co-worker was asking me the questions and I was thinking 'Barbie.' Now, where I come from, once you get to question 20, if you haven't properly guessed what it is, you lose the game son. Nobody told that dumb pink ball that. It got to question 24 before it guessed it correctly, and then do you know what that dumb pink ball had the audacity to do? It actually taunted me by saying that it won! WHAT?! I do not think so! I regulated the situation by throwing that dumb pink ball into the 'Lost and Found Small Object' drawer and never speaking of it again.
I think I would make a better 20 Questions game than the 20 Questions game does. Do you know how full of useless information I am? We used to play games during lunch at my old job (the one at the pediatric doctors office) and they were usually movie and TV trivia type games. I'm kind of frightened by how much I know about movies and TV that I haven't ever even seen. This is a family trait I think. We are really good at absorbing useless information (Now that I'm typing this out and reading it, it seems a lot more concerning that we have a tendency to do this...) My brother can watch a movie once and pretty much have it memorized. I'm not exaggerating. Oh my gosh I don't know HOW many times we watched Johnny Lingo for Family Home Evening when I was a kid (I HATE Johnny Lingo. I just...I just hate it), and it was always much more entertaining to listen to Darius recite the whole thing than to watch the movie. Especially when he pretended to be that old guy counting all of the cows.
On a completely different note, while taking a water closet break at work today, I saw a little girl, butt naked, standing underneath one of the hand dryers to dry off after her lesson. Believe it or not, that's not the weirdest thing I've seen in there.